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Writer's pictureEbiere Bolu

Why do many of us parents struggle to teach our children emotional regulation skills?

Family enjoying some quality time together at a park, pushing youngest child on tyre swing

Q: "Why do many of us parents struggle to teach our children emotional regulation skills, despite knowing the importance of emotional well-being for us and our children, why aren’t more of us teaching our kids how to self-regulate? 


A: “Great question! Here are 7 Common Reasons why this challenge persists:


1. Unfamiliarity with Techniques: Without knowledge about effective strategies to teach emotional regulation, it is harder to pass these skills on to your children.


2. Personal Challenges: Dealing with your own emotional difficulties or stress, you might find it challenging to focus on teaching our children emotional regulation skills.


3. Struggle with Emotions: Some of us struggle to understand or handle our own emotions, leading to difficulty in guiding our children through emotional experiences.


4. Focus on Behaviour Over Emotions: When we prioritise stopping our child's behaviour rather than addressing the underlying emotions, we miss opportunities to teach regulation.


5. Cultural or Upbringing Influences: Some cultures and family backgrounds do not prioritise emotional education, leading parents to overlook its importance.


6. Fear of Overindulgence: Concerns about coddling or overindulging their children's emotions might lead some parents to unintentionally overlook the importance of teaching emotional regulation.


7. Time Constraints: Busy schedules and everyday demands can make it difficult for parents to take the time needed to focus on teaching emotional regulation.


Which one do you relate to the most?


Acknowledging these barriers is the first step toward overcoming them together.


 Steps to Emotional Intelligence:


Emotional Regulation - The ability to effectively manage and control one's emotions in a healthy and adaptive manner. 


It involves being aware of one's emotions, understanding their triggers, and employing strategies to regulate or modify their intensity, duration, and expression. 


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