I know what it’s like to feel misunderstood, especially when emotions are running high. As a child, when big feelings took over, I was often labelled “attention-seeking” or even a “troublemaker.” Those words stung, and I began to internalise a belief that expressing emotions was wrong, that somehow there was something flawed in me whenever I had an emotional outburst.
This belief didn’t stay in childhood—it followed me into adulthood. I became skilled at masking my emotions, bottling up my pain, and doing my best not to bother anyone. I learned to strive for acceptance by being agreeable, even at the cost of my own feelings. I aimed to be what others deemed “acceptable” instead of voicing what was real for me.
Now, looking back, I realise I wasn’t “attention-seeking”—I was connection-seeking. I longed to feel seen, heard, and understood. My tantrums weren’t just noise or “bad behaviour.” They were expressions of need, a way of saying, “I’m struggling with big emotions, and I don’t know how to handle it.”
What Tantrums Really Mean for Kids
For many children, tantrums are just this—a cry for connection. The kicking, screaming, and meltdowns are their way of communicating that they’re overwhelmed, feeling something immense, and don’t know how to navigate it alone. While the behaviour might seem intense, at its core, it’s a call for support, safety, and understanding. Yet, as parents, it’s easy to see only the surface-level behaviour and feel frustration, exhaustion, or even embarrassment.
I know that feeling well, both as a parent and as someone who struggled with these emotions myself. In those challenging moments, it can feel natural to react by trying to “correct” the behaviour. However, as I began to connect with my own emotions, I started to see tantrums differently. Rather than a problem to fix, they became an opportunity to show my child that, even when they’re feeling the most intense emotions, they are loved, safe, and understood.
Shifting from Frustration to Connection
This shift in perspective didn’t happen overnight. It took time, reflection, and a willingness to look within myself. By addressing my own emotional experiences, I learned to empathise more deeply with what my child might be feeling in those heightened moments. Rather than trying to immediately stop the outburst, I began focusing on what my child might need from me. Often, it wasn’t discipline—it was connection.
When we can make this shift, tantrums can become moments of bonding and growth. Instead of meeting frustration with frustration, we respond with compassion. We acknowledge their feelings, no matter how intense, and show that we’re here, guiding them to understand their emotions rather than being overcome by them.
My Approach as a Therapeutic Coach
As a Therapeutic Coach, I bring this compassionate, non-judgmental approach to my work with parents. I understand that these moments aren’t easy; they can feel overwhelming and sometimes even isolating. That’s why I guide parents through five key skills designed to help you navigate these intense emotional moments with confidence and empathy.
With nearly two decades of teaching experience, I focus on helping parents develop tools that strengthen their child’s self-worth, reinforce sibling relationships, and promote healthy co-parenting. It’s a holistic approach aimed at transforming challenging moments into opportunities for deep connection and growth.
When we respond with empathy instead of frustration, we’re not only helping our children through a difficult moment—we’re teaching them resilience, self-worth, and how to process their emotions. In a world that can sometimes feel overwhelming, we’re helping them build a foundation of self-love and security.
If you’re interested in learning more about the five key skills I teach and how they can help you strengthen your bond with your child, resolve tantrums, and navigate parenting with confidence, join our course by clicking the link below.
Together, we can reframe these intense moments and create a connection that supports both you and your child.
Ready to take the first step? Join the course here or book a free consultation to see how we can help.
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