Growing up, I was that child—the “troublesome” one, the “naughty” one. I was strong-willed and sensitive, a child with big feelings who knew what I wanted and wasn’t afraid to speak my mind. For some adults around me, that seemed to be a problem. Now, as a parent and teacher, I can understand why my big personality could be challenging for them. But as a child, all I knew was that it felt wrong to be me.
The message I received was clear: they wanted a “good girl.” A quiet, compliant child who fit in without fuss. And like any child, I wanted to be accepted, to be loved. So, I set out to quiet my own voice, to tone myself down and fit into the role of “good girl.”
By the end of primary school, I had perfected my new persona so well that I even won the “Best Behaved” award. But this mask came with a cost. Every time I stood my ground or spoke up as a teen, I felt ashamed, as though I had done something wrong. I had internalised the belief that being my true self meant being too much, causing trouble. So I continued trying to be “good.”
The Cost of Being “Good”
By adulthood, I had perfected it: I knew how to stay quiet, let others cross my boundaries, and avoid rocking the boat. Speaking up felt like risking everything, so I stayed silent. I accepted behaviour I shouldn’t have, tried not to “bother” anyone, and put others’ needs before my own. But over time, I began to realise that keeping quiet was costing me far more than speaking up ever could have.
I didn’t need to be “good.” I needed to feel accepted for who I was. As a child, I needed help in learning to express myself in ways that respected both my feelings and the feelings of others. I needed to know that my voice mattered, that my strong opinions and emotions weren’t something to hide. I needed guidance in setting boundaries and finding ways to communicate without shame. I needed someone to show me how to be me.
Embracing the Strong-Willed Child
Now, as a Therapeutic Coach, I offer this guidance to parents. If you’re raising a strong-willed, sensitive child with big emotions, they aren’t a “problem” to fix. They’re simply a child with a big voice who needs help expressing it well. They need support in finding healthy ways to stand their ground, express their emotions, and respect others while remaining true to themselves.
Working with parents, I help foster deep, lasting connections with their children—even through the tantrums, the tears, and the “challenging” behaviours. Together, we create a safe space for your child to learn how to navigate their feelings and communicate in healthy, respectful ways.
Let’s Support Their Voice, Not Silence It
Every child deserves to feel that they are enough just as they are. A strong-willed child doesn’t need to be tamed; they need guidance to channel their strength and sensitivity. They need parents who understand that their big feelings aren’t something to quiet down but rather something to work with. I’m here to help you and your child build a relationship based on respect, understanding, and genuine connection.
Let’s work together so that, one day, your child never has to feel they’re “too much.” Instead, they’ll know they’re just right—exactly as they are.
Ready to take the first step? Join the course here or book a free consultation to see how we can help.
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